YOU ARE A LIAR, LIE-ANN: real housewives of ny reunion part 1 8/31

REUNION TIIIIME!!! (spoiler alert: it was pretty boring and mostly Bethenny and Luann shouting at each other- they are both pack leaders fighting for the spot, and I just want one of them to move to another town! WE ALL CAN’T BE VICKI GUNVALSON OK)

From these brief previews as the reunion is starting, everyone is acknowledging the fact that Bethenny is a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs. I listen to an amazing podcast called “Bitch Sesh,” as well as follow their Facebook page, and there was some truly remarkable intel on the exact source of Bethenny’s incriminating photos against Tom- allegedly it was a member of the production that gave her these photographs, and Bethenny refused to bring it up on the show unless she got a producer credit on the upcoming season- what a monster! Isn’t getting aggressive free SkinnyGirl promotion enough for you, Bethenny!? (Check out the FB group “Bitch Sesh by Alene: A Real Podcast Breakdown!!!).

Sonja Morgan looks perf in her reunion dress- truly A+.

the most beautiful TipsyGirl.

So whose boyfriend is worse? John or Tom!? The verdict: John is sweaty AF, and probably does coke, but at least he doesn’t cheat on Dorinda!

Dorinda described John as “visually different, academically different,” than her first husband- aka ugly and dumb!!

Sonja continues to enforce the fact she was friends with all of the boyfriends before their respective girlfriends, and I’m unsure as to why she is so proud of this fact. “I knew John a long time I knew him before Dorinda” OKAY but where’s Rocco girl? And be proud you didn’t date baked potato John or cheater Mr. Clean Tom- LIVE YOUR TRUTH SONJA!
God love ya.

“I just had diarrhea of the mouth”- that can be said for 99% of what Ramona says. Also, I was a little shocked there was nothing too dramatic about Ramona- nobody has called her out on making every situation about her- maybe next week.

Blah blah blah Rey (I feel like Rey is some weird David Schwimmer character he auditions for art films with) …blah blah blah cocaine, I’m bored.

Sonja to Luann: “WHY DO YOU CALL ME SAHNYA?”
Luann to Sonja: “I speak three languages.”- Money can’t buy you class, amirite Luann!?

“I just wanna hang out with guy friends that aren’t gay”- LOL OK RAMONA- I mean, I guess I want that too, but here I am. See you Saturday night at Trunks in West Hollywood #fruitflyforlife

TO THE BERKSHIRES-GATE

We lightly touch on Sonja and Bethenny’s beef. Oh god, not Tipsy Girl. I think I tried to block it out of my memory because it was SO STUPID- just like all of last season, and any song that DJ James Kennedy ever sang on Vanderpump Rules. (I’m just using this as an excuse to re-watch his live performance of “Feeling You Feat. LaLa Kent” Live at Rehab Las Vegas)

UGH but the iconic scene of Jules and Luann sitting outside the house in the Berkshires, Jules telling Luann about her sick dad juxtaposed with Luann, AGHAST that the other ladies are calling her a slut. Also when Luann texted Bethenny an apology while they are both still at the house- AMAZING.

iconic.

Also, Luann just learned how to spell BETHANNY’S (Bethenny’s) name correctly. LIVE on the RHONY reunion! Amazing!

It has now become a Bethenny VS. Luann slut-shaming contest. I also enjoy Luann muttering under her breath (subtitles included) in FULL while Bethenny is speaking to Andy.

Who’s banging a married man!?

What is the name of the guy in Turks & Caicos?!

Who HASN’T Luann had sex with!?

There are so many unanswered questions, and so many things that have nothing to do with this season of RHONY! Typical reunion. This is why Dad(@andy) drinks!

“I’m dating I’m single I’m 50!”- Luann.
Can we market a Luann doll that says “TOM LOVES ME” every time you pull the string? Also, it wears sunglasses 24/7.

OH GOD NOW BETHENNY IS CALLING HER BOYFRIEND’S DAUGHTER LIVE ON TV (in order to prove to Luann that she didn’t date a married man) ANDY COHEN DOESN’T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS! Also, Luann insists on referring to Bethenny as a married woman still, which is foolish because we all know of the divorce DEBACLE that Bethenny has been through with awful Jason Hoppy. This is slut-shaming of sorority girl proportions, and it’s honestly a little obnoxious.

“you are a liar Lie-ann!!!”- catch Bethenny trademarking this & selling this on shirts.

Ok I’m exhausted. More next week!

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2 thoughts on “YOU ARE A LIAR, LIE-ANN: real housewives of ny reunion part 1 8/31

  1. I love Bethenny, however I think she is jealous of De Countess LooseAnn. LooseAnn hits a nerve and makes Bethenny dance and lose her mind. I think they both have repressed anger towards each other. Bethenny from the early years and Looseann of Bethenny’s sucess. “Remember, Tom’s A Millionaire” we think. Dorinda was fun, but the rest was just okay. The Housewives of Melborne was more entertaining.

    Liked by 1 person

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